Well, I have a very important message in to Paul’s Pig Parts, requesting assistance with the final menu preparations. Best guess is that hogs will begin arriving at Hog Fest Ohio on Thursday, August 9th. I have no idea when they are leaving (ARE they leaving? or are they all moving in?). We have an open door policy–stay as long as you want, as long as you don’t leave empty toilet paper rolls on the doo-hickey, or pee on the toilet seat. We aren’t picky

I am guessing most will leave Sunday or Monday (I hope Monday!!!)–because I don’t believe in the old adage “After three days, fish and visitors begin to stink”. Okay–maybe SOME do. But it’s nothing that a good power washing wouldn’t fix! So, on to the menu for Hog Fest. The only thing set in stone is the delectable cooked pig on Saturday. Ta-Da. There you go. Can I plan a get together or what? So, aside from the actual pig roast–as in the pig getting cooked and consumed–I am in the process of planning out the menu.

Word has it, from a voice mail left by Donnie at midnight (drunk???), that the Tice’s will be hauling out the enormo-griddle. Breakfast is served. Bacon, eggs, toast, etc. Breakfast is done. My fave girls from Idaho (no, YOU Da Ho!) are baking some delectables…cookies, brownies and such, and sending them out. I am considering a giant pig cake as well… on to the rest.

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And the preparations continue…

I was shopping at Target last week, and they had my screen gazebos on sale. I grabbed one up, and decided to put that sucker up this weekend, so I could get an idea for “placement”. The only thing I wanted to “place” was one of the 10,000 poles up the ass of the inventor. After a few beers and a lot of 4 letter words, I packed that sucker back up, and it’s going back to the store. Right along with the junk slip-n-slide I bought for the kids.

It is imperative that everything revolving around Hog Fest be EASY. My gazebo was not–nor ever will be–easy. I am spending the extra dough, and getting an EZ-UP gazebo. No parts, no poles, no hassles. The only pole we’ll need is one for Mackey to dance on….enough said.

I am still shocked that we’ve not got a menu in place. I am thinking I’ll need to send out an email to our hogs, and try to get that together. I know Pauls Pig Parts indicates some scrumptious yummies will be coming this way…and I have no doubt that Hog Fest 2007 will be much better with the capable (and hopefully CLEAN) hands of Paul helping me with the food!

We’ve obviously got pig. It’s all the stuff to go with it that I am not sure about. Of course, with this group of hogs, we need to have lots of food CLOSE BY, throughout the day–a lesson learned, drinking days away with this crew. I think that should be my mission today. Yes, indeed…it’s my mission–after all, we are only 52 days away!!!!

Holy crap–in 60-some days, the hogs will decend on our waterfront property. We’ve been so busy with our trip to Gettysburg and Hershey, kids end-of-the-year activities, and the general feeling of happiness that we finally have warm weather, I’ve put the hogfest on my back burner. Shame on me!

In 2 months, my hogs will begin arriving. Like hungry vultures, from all corners of the world. Okay…nooks of the US. Mainly Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. Wait….ONLY Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. Whatever. I am excited, and can’t WAIT to get everyone together!!

I thought I’d update you on what we’ve done to get ready. I know long lists tend to bore people, so I will be quick about it. I’ve done nothing. Absolutely nothing. But really, what do I have to do? There really isn’t a lot of “preparation” involved in a party that is 2 months away. Right now, our biggest conundrum is deciding the best way to keep enough booze on hand for the party. Last year, we needed to make 2 booze runs in 3 days–so much for planning ahead! Yes, you could go and get a big fat keg–but as we saw last year, everyone wanted something different. Whatever happened to getting a big keg of cheap beer, and people being happy? I am not even talking the REAL cheap beer here–just a big container, chock full, and everyone being good to go!

I still want to get a big folding table…one of those screened in gazebo thingies, a crock pot and some more tiki torches. Oh, and I want to get outdoor party lights, shaped like chili’s or pigs–tough call there, eh? Such things of high importance should be taking priority right now, I know. But I am all about the pressure, baby. Juicy tasty yummy delish pork….that is going to be Paul’s forte. I will just be there to guard the succulent pig, while Paul sleeps it off. He gets no more than 20 minutes per nap session…so he better make the most of it!

I also have plenty of Jell-O syringes, and need to decide what shots I will make, besides the Caribbean Blue (the winning jello shot of Hogfest 2006). I did a few others, but there is something about a shot that is blue, and has rum in it…eh? As for other imbibements, I had to think of Jaegerbombs. The inclusion of Red Bull, for people who have been drinking since 10 am is really a good idea. Otherwise, everyone is passed out before the 7pm Seinfeld reruns are over. It’s caffine, baby. All the way.

For hogfest, we are also considering removing the swings and trapeze from the kids’ swingset (no kids will be here, so what’s it matter?) and building a little bar in it’s place. Problem is, we don’t have 2 level spots to work from–but who would notice, really? Everyone will be walking like sidewinders by 10:30 am…it’ll work :p

There, now that I have your attention… picked up the butts for August last weekend. They’re in the freezer right now, but they can’t wait for their trip to Ohio! I also scored a bunch of hickory from a sawmill in town… I traded pig for wood. Must have been okay, they told me they’d make that deal any time! That made me feel good.

Now, the true test will be the Ohio hogs…. cripes, the pressure is on! We layed in supplies for sauce and I’m going to get moving on some of that too. I need to have some ready for Rock Fest and some for a party in Illinois. We’re off to Mexico in a week, we return on a Sunday and then off to the Illinois party the following weekend. Busy summer for sure. Toss Rock Fest in there before we head for Ohio…. I have whiskey to drink and pig to cook!

Gonna smoke some chicken tomorrow. Been doing turkey and figure the chicken should be faster. We’ll give it a try here before we lose it on the rest of the world! Can’t be much different than turkey can it?

We’ll, off the kitchen to put a brine together for the chickens! Take care all.

In the dog days of summer, nothing tastes better than something icy cold. Jello shots are good, but I thought how fabulous it would be to try some iceshots this year…. Pick your poison (is everyone game for Yukon Jack again??????? :p) and then you can eat the glass (apprently you can use fruit juice, your favorite mixer, etc!). It would make for a lot less garbage! And no worries—I have a box of 60 jello-shooter syringes that will be ready to go as well

I think these would be great to wash down the pig with….don’t you agree, Paul????

Rule: No pig snitchin before it’s done! I hear tale of people wackin on the pork prior to the cookiing being done last year. Can’t do it… even if I’m “tired” and need a nap or something. Just plan on it being 12-13 hours of waiting. It’s going to smell good and it’s going to be hard, but we’ll pull through together. Oh, there’ll be jambalaya to gnaw on while we wait too… with some pig in it!

So, I’ve actually gotten a few emails from people, asking about washerboards Donnie brought the game with him, and everyone played as long as it was light enough. We decided we wanted to get it, so we can play all the time. I thought how nice it would be, to just buy it and be done. But then when I started looking, I was finding sets that cost up to $160. Hell with that. We decided we’ll just build a set. And I found a place that has a PDF of instructions, along with templates to build it yourself. We played the 3 hole rectangle, which was awesome. So if you’re looking for rules, scoring, or a template, here’s a great place to go Click here for instructions and template (Need free Adobe Reader to view).

If you are lazy, and have money to waste, you can buy a set here (they even come with a built in light option!).

It’ll be nice to have 2 sets to play at Hogfest 2007 (104 days away!!!!). It’ll keep a lot of hogs out of trouble.

I love YouTube. There are some bizarre things on there….it entertains me. But when I came across my Cheesy 80’s Tunes CD, and heard Cruisin (Sunset Sam), I was sure that I was the ONLY person on God’s green earth to ever remember that song, let alone choose to put it on a CD. Lo and behold, not only am I NOT alone in loving Sunset Sam, but there are others who have the video, and have put it on YouTube, for the world to see. (Rock on, Sunset Sam lovers, and UNITE!). I am certain that, should I play this song at HogFest 2007, large chunks of pig fat would be thrown at me…or my iPod would end up in the creek.

But for those of us who enjoyed Friday night slumber parties, spending time MANUALLY CHANGING THE CHANNELS between MTV and Friday Night Videos, I am sure we can all rejoice in the gayness, cheap jewlery and street ho roller skaters that do, in fact, make up the wonderful cinematography known as CRUISIN.

Spring has sprung, sort of. 80 degree days, followed by 50 degree days with a cold rain. For those of us in the northern climates, that is officially spring. Our chipmunks, squirrels and various wild birds are out, but this year, we’ve got a few new visitors I am posting this here, for the hogs, so we can set the record straight that our new critters are NOT dinner, target practice, or or the focus of any harm. I love my creatures, so you must let them be. (Well, yes, cook the pig–but it’ll be a goner before we ever see it).

Introducing….

Mr. Turtle–he’s looking to get his freak on, so leave him alone His lady of choice would be Miss (or MS.) Turtle….a lovely specimen herself…..

Miss (MS. Turtle)….she’s one hell of a snapper, and the boys can’t resist that tail…

There will be NO turtle soup….let the creatures be.

We’ve also welcomed our Mallards back….a lovely couple they are NO ROAST DUCK WILL BE SERVED!!!

We’ve also welcomed a noisy pair of Canadian Geese. Since they are the only two, and not covering our yard with crap, we’ve decided they can stay. Plus, they’ve made friends with Percy, my 2nd year buck

Preparations have begun, for HogFest 2007 I’ve got myself a nice Bose Sound Dock, for my iPod, and am still accumulating songs for the fest. In flipping through some CD’s, I came across one named “Cheesy 80’s”. If that doesn’t beg for some playtime, I don’t know what does. I heard the basic early Duran Duran….some sex-slathered Prince…and then it came on….”Crusin (Sunset Sam)”. This was from back when roller skating was OH so hot…and I do believe, was the first time I ever heard the word “gay”. It was a very provocative video–back in the first summer that MTV was out. Good times…and lo and behold, there ARE other people who remember Sunset Sam (who, at the time, we were SURE was Hulk Hogan. Looking back? Notsomuch….) You are curious now, aren’t you???? Sunset Sam is on his way, baby!!!

We’re home. We’ve been home for almost 2 weeks, and I still can’t get back in to a groove. How could I possibly????

As usual, the weather was fabulous, the staff spoiled us rotten, and the frozen rum runners flowed like….well, rum. In fact, they were so good, that Suzi and I decided we needed to rent a giant daiquiri machine for hog fest this summer, modify the recipe to work in the sucker, and have endless supplies of frozen rum runners!!! They are so delicious, but we already know that neither of us want to man a blender for an entire weekend! So, I’ve snapped my pictures of the bar menu at the resort, and will commence to making the PERFECT frozen rum runner, complete with Appleton Rum, of course, in time for Hog Fest 2007!

Laying on the beach–and subsequently coming home to enjoy the 18+ inches of snow that welcomed us our first weekend home–got me thinking about summer. I can’t wait to be able to get outside, and begin preparations for Hog Fest! We got ourselves a nice new camp recliner (which we are already fighting over!), so that one of us can park our ass by the fire, and tend to….whatever. I feel strongly that the 8 year old mantra “move your feet, lose your seat” will come into play with this chair, as he only bought one (go figure!!!!).

The vacation was a great time….but we missed our comrades We can’t wait to see you all in August! Stay tuned for the “Hogged Up Rum Runner Recipe”!